Yesterday we had the world famous, or at least SW Iowa famous Staley Chicken dinner. There was an awesome turnout, and we had a large number of people helping put the dinner on. It is a lot of work to put the dinner on, but it is neat to see so many people working together to pull it off.
It warms a pastor's heart to see so many people working together, and to see so many faces come and enjoy some good greasy chicken. Now I'm not naive enough to believe that there isn't some tension in setting up and running the dinner...I suppose some friction is inevitable whenever a group of people work together. On the other hand, putting that tension aside and continuing to work together is the way things get done. As the Body of Christ there is going to be times of tension, and/or strain, the goal isn't to eliminate all tension, the trick is how we deal with it. Disagreements and stress/tension is not a sign of an unhealthy church (a lot of tension and stress could be). We are a group of people on a journey together...we are a family, and even "perfect" families have some disagreements and stress. The healthy families can deal openly with the tension and work towards a solution. Unhealthy families push that stress and tension to the back burner and don't deal with it. The trouble with not dealing with that tension is at some point it snaps. The back burner can only hold so much until it boils over and it all comes spilling out.
No read carefully, I'm not saying there is a lot of tension/stress/disagreements happening here at Minden UCC...what I am talking about is how we as a church, and we as families should deal with disagreements. Open communication is the best way to deal any disagreement. If one party doesn't know the other is unhappy then how can a resolution be worked out? If one party continues to put feelings aside in hopes it'll get better or they don't want to rock the boat, then when all that tension snaps and it comes spilling out the problem is usually a lot harder to deal with because there is so much hurt/stress built up. As the answer usually is...talking it out sooner rather than later is much more healthy than just keeping quiet and hoping it'll all get better. So I make a promise to you, if you'll make a promise to me...if there is a disagreement with what's happening here at church, or if there is some stress in your family, promise to talk about it. Talk to the person who you feel is responsible for the tension. DO NOT be confrontational, but just be honest and sincere. Use "I" statements and let it out. The solution might not be 100% to your liking, but I guarantee you'll be happier with the outcome if you know your voice has been heard and you've at least been a part in the decision instead of just burying your head in the sand. A wise pastor once said, "if you agree with me all of the time then you're not thinking." Truer words haven't been spoken.
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